I know its possibly the worst joke ever
written, but these X-files resposes give it a new
perspective, and a bit of conspiracy!
No government agency has jurisdiction over the chicken. The chicken is out there, Scully, and we will find it.
Dana Scully:
There is a logical, scientific explanation for the chicken crossing the road. We need more evidence.
Walter Skinner:
CSM:
Alex Krycek:
Because he can't decide WHAT side he's really on.
Byers:
It was trying to escape the most heinous and evil force of the twentieth century.
Langly:
It was on its way to the grassy knoll, dude.
Frohike:
Bill Mulder:
It heard the words, and they made sense to it.... merchandise.... fryer parts....
Mrs. Mulder:
I have told you that I don't remember any chicken.
Mrs. Scully:
I had a dream about the chicken being taken away....
Melissa Scully:
The chicken needed to get in touch with its inner self, to find the light and the good. It was in a very dark place...
Bill Scully, Sr.:
One day the chicken and I will be together again...
Bill Scully, Jr.:
Dana, you spend too much time worrying about chickens... for HIM? You should be home with your family!
Queequeg:
Woof! (translation: to avoid being eaten by Big Blue.)
The Well-Manicured Man:
It will cross the road in one of two ways....
Deep Throat:
Mr. Mulder, they crossed the road a very long time ago. Trust no fowl.
X:
The chicken is choosing a dangerous time to cross alone. The road is still out there, but it's never been more dangerous.
Marita Covarrubias:
I don't know how much I can tell you about the chicken.... Oh yessssss, the chickenssssss. How much time do you have?
Jeremiah Smith:
I can't tell you right now why the chicken crossed the road, but if you come with me, I'll show you....
The Mighty Morphin' Bounty Hunter:
Tell me where the chicken is!
Section Chief Blevins:
We trust that the chicken made the proper decision about crossing the road.
Mrs Budahas:
That
Emil and Zoe (stoner kids):
I dunno, but I sure hope he stayed away from the - heh heh - *landmines* and junk!
Tom Colton:
At this point I'm willing to accept any theory as to why the chicken crossed the road--any sane theory. I'm sorry, Dana, but I only want qualified chickens at the intersection.
Eugene Tooms:
Mmm...pate...
Det. Frank Briggs:
I've been waiting... sixty years... for the chicken to cross that road.
Ellen (Scully's friend):
Well - first it had to get a life. And... a rooster.
Rob (Scully's date):
I don't know, but I don't suppose you want to hear about the finer points of the state planning and taxation?
Brad Wilczek [Ghost in the Machine]:
Chickens enjoy walking down unpredictable avenues, turning new corners, but, as a general rule, chickens never cross roads.
